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‘You knew better,’ I scolded myself, lifting my bloodshot eyes to the mirror as I spat into the sink. Every fiber of my being had told me not to go there, that naught good could come of it. I did it anyway—because he wanted it and I wanted to please him. Simple, really. The reason why he wanted it was not lost on me, though. It added to my anger. Packing wouldn’t have taken nearly as long if not interrupted several times by dry heaves. I saw his eyes as I squeezed my own closed. Not the eyes I cherished—the ones that studied me with a mixture of amazement and adoration—but the placating, angst-filled eyes. The pleading eyes. I never wanted to see those eyes again. I heard his voice as I ran the tap water to wash my face. Not the voice I cherished—the one that promised me all his tomorrows—but the appeasing, soothing voice. The ass-kissing voice drifting through a closed door. I never wanted to hear that voice again. I knew as soon as he came back into the living room that he was. To see if it was the same.” She brought her hands to her breasts and squeezed them. “I am delighted that it wasn’t.”“You still don’t ever have to do it again,” I said.“That’s what’s so amazing,” she said. “I liked it. No, I enjoyed it. It was completely different. I was thinking of all these things, the past, Hannah, you. But it was so different than anything I felt before that it was like I’d never done it before.”“Trust me, it didn’t feel like you’d never done it before,” I sighed.“Rodney was very demanding. I didn’t understand how abusive he was until years later.”“I’m so sorry, Phoebe,” I said. “No woman should have to endure that.”Suddenly she burst into tears, sobbing, shaking uncontrollably. I moved to enfold her in my arms, but that was all I could do. She cried like that for a long time and finally settled into hiccupping, more gentle misery.“H-h-he was killed in a b-b-bar fight,” she moaned.I squeezed her and she looked up at me with red-rimmed, tear-filled eyes.“I was.
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